Be a Man
I want to chew broken glass
I want to cover myself in mud and fight a predator
I want a scar big enough to make a child cry
I want to run until my veins pop and my heart pumps battery acid

I don't want to play crappy board games that girls think are cute to try and be popular.
You know who I'm talking about.

I'm sick of this metrosexual transformation. You think because you watch football on TV that it's OK when you get a manicure? You think playing basketball means that you're allowed to cry your eyes out when you get a scuff on your shoe?

Here's a movie I'm going to make:
A lumberjack lives in the woods with his woman. One day a bear tries to eat his woman and so he crushes its skull with his bare hands. The end.

Like it? It's gonna be called "Comb your beard, I don't want to hear that shit" and Henry and Sean can go pick out curtains at Bed Bath and Beyond while I ride to the premier on my chopper.

Excuse me while I rent this awesome looking western: Paint your Wagon